Drinking Life
Maybe COVID-19 was supposed to happen. To make us all think and really look at the reflection of ourselves, and ask: who are we and what are we doing?
It sure has made me look. And listen. Taste. Touch. Feel. All of my senses are more aware of myself than ever before, and it’s been a blessing in disguise. It has made me realize that I don’t want to waste the rest of my 20s not drinking in every bit of young life that I have. So I want to chase every dream in my heart. Some people might think it’s a little crazy, to chase after near-impossible dreams, but I don’t think any dream is impossible. There’s always a way to make it come true, and maybe it wasn’t in the way you planned it, but there is a way.
I want to be a writer and an explorer. When I say explorer, no, I don’t mean like Dora the Explorer. Not exactly, anyway. I mean being open to every new experience that comes my way, and accepting if things don’t go the way I want. Like moving to a different state I’ve never been to or never was open to living in before. Obviously traveling different countries. Moving to another state if one doesn’t seem to fit me. I want to keep moving, keep going, and I want to write about each experience. No matter where I am, I know I’ll always have my writing. It’s part of how I process the real world and the fantasy world and combine them into one. I think my destiny was the make fantasy a reality. And to make real life damn-near magical.
If you ask me, there are a lot of people that I’ve met who say they want to travel and to do things in life. But there are very few how actual have the guts and will to do it. I don’t want to be one of those people who say they will do it but never do. Especially when I have the opportunities to do so. I’m twenty-two years old, I don’t have a salary-based income, and I have savings. So what’s stopping me?
It was fear. The fear of going out and not settling down like a lot of people are doing is scary, especially for a young woman. I think a lot of us girls are expected to be in some sort of stable relationship, and it’s not like I haven’t wanted that. I just don’t know if I’ve met the right person. Someone who’s willing to go on these crazy endeavors with me, who listens to my dreams and supports them, and someone I can trust. Someone to keep my grounded when I might get too high up in the air with my thoughts and dreams, but doesn’t every chain me to the ground permanently, because that’s not where I belong. It’s just not me to always live in reality.
Sometimes I sleep a lot because I like to dream, literally dream. If I wake up from a good dream, I can go back to sleep and the dream will continue, or a new dream will start. This might sound crazy, but those dreams speak to me. They tell me what I need to hear or see. But I also have to be careful. If I sleep too much, I won’t live the dreams out in my actual life.
I can sleep for the healthy eight hours, then wake up to make sure my dreams become a reality.
So here’s to drinking in what life I have left. Cheers.
