Human love, true love, and other tangents on love

 I went on a lot of tangents here, but let’s be honest—for those of you who know me, this is how I think. It somehow all connects in my head and eventually makes sense, so bear with me. 

For those who don’t know me, welcome. 

I haven’t written a general blog post in a while, but I have been thinking a lot about what has been going on in the world (nothing new there). I have also been thinking about how, sometimes we all need a reminder of what it truly means to love as a human being. 

Now, relationships. A popular topic because we all want love. From the time we are kids, we are exposed to fairytales and this idea of a “happily ever after,” and we begin to dream of having that, but then we grow up. We quickly realize that our parents may not have the perfect relationship. Some of us never grow up seeing what a healthy relationship looks like at all, so we are left to figure it out ourselves. 

In whatever situation you find yourself in, at some point, we may get into a relationship and have to answer this damning question: do I love this person, and do they love me? When it comes to relationships, I am no expert by any means. I only know what I have personally experienced, observed, or heard from others. 

A lot of you who are friends of mine have heard me talk about the show Queen Charlotte and how much I loved it—seriously, I cried when I watched the ending of the show because it was so beautiful. It’s not everyone’s cup of tea (laughing at myself as I type because I thought this in a British accent), but it depicts something that I believe not many modern shows or movies reveal to us these days: love, no matter how strong and real it is, is not easy. In the show, you see the other characters all say that the love between Queen Charlotte and King George III was always true, but you also hear them say that they feel sad for both of them. Because they struggled, and they struggled greatly. I won’t give away any spoilers for those who may want to watch it, but the point of this blog post (if you are still with me anyway) is to remind everyone that relationships, whether it be romantic or platonic, are not easy. Love certainly is not. 

Attraction is not enough for a long-lasting relationship. Queen Charlotte and King George showed obvious, initial attraction, but that’s not what made their marriage endure. It was the continued dedication, the acceptance of one another’s flaws, the choices. 

You want true love? You have to choose it. You may fear it. You may want to run from it because that’s easier than the risk of your heart breaking. But in the end, if you choose it, true love will come to you. And you will not regret it. Because true love chooses you, too. True love is not just something YOU choose. It involves someone else. If you both choose each other, despite the challenges, you will face the coldness and ugliness of the world together and you will triumph over it all. 

Some may say I am a romantic to believe in this “power” of love, but I have to say, I have been through hell. I have lost my entire family in a single night. I have lost people who I thought were my best friends. I have been heartbroken. I have hurt people. I have lost more family. 

But you know what got me through each and every dark moment? Love, and my enduring belief in its power. 

My own ability to love is what makes me a better teacher. It is what makes me a better friend. A better sister. A better daughter. A better person. 

So no, I will not apologize for my “romantic” notions of love. I will always tell someone how I feel because I do not know when I will see them next. Maybe it sounds cliché, but again, take it from someone who knows. That person, whether it is someone you love romantically, a friend, or a family member, could be gone tomorrow. I thought I’d see my father and siblings the next day. I didn’t. You’re not going to regret loving too much (even if it is someone who didn’t deserve it – don’t stay in toxic situations, but when you look back, remember that you have great power in the ability to love and now you can give that to someone else). 

I will always regret not saying this: I love you and I am always here for you.

So no, I will not listen to the people who may say “that only exists in movies and books,” because they’re wrong. I have so much love in my life and it has taken me out of the darkest depths of death and destruction. 

I am lucky. Not everyone believes this. If you don’t, then I hope that, one day, you will. Because love is what gives our life color. Why do you think I chose that photo of a rose? Well, 1) I love roses, obviously 2) love is usually represented with the color red, and 3) because love is beautiful, like roses, and it has color, and finally, 4) love stays alive, even after long winters, but only if you care for that part of you that can love. The part that is human. Now, not the perfect metaphor, but close enough. 

So if you don’t believe me, then I hope someone shows you. I hope you show someone else. 

I hope that, whatever is in your heart, you let the world see it and that you are proud and unashamed. Because guess what? 

It is our ability to love that makes us human. It is what makes a difference in the world. It is what gives us the strength to make this world a better place, even if it is helping one person at a time. Who knows? That one person you showed love to could end up being a person who helps save the world. 

You could be that person, too.